By Sam Stack, Print Editor-in-Chief
//Ok, to start off, I’m sorry. I haven’t blessed your eyes with a new edition of the Scoop in two weeks. At Blueprint we’re about results not excuses, but my excuses are good. I’m not going to tell you them, but they’re good. You’d definitely be like, “Hey Sam I totally forgive you for not doing the Scoop the last two weeks because of those Grade A excuses.” But once again I’m not about excuses, I’m about results. Ok, you got me. I forgot to do them.
I literally did not watch a single second of football this weekend, so this is going to be solely baseball topics. It is the World Series now, so we can talk about baseball and it’s socially acceptable at ESPNFL, I mean ESPN.
Anyways, warning to all readers reading on to check out what I’m going to present to you. These takes might be too hard to handle and if you need to take time from reading them, then be my guest.
I Should Be The Manager Of The Giants
It was an even year so I mean the Giants are supposed to get another ring right? Wrong. They choked. My prediction of the Giants winning 12 straight games in the playoffs was pretty wrong despite how I can scientifically prove it should have happened.
But step aside Bochy, it’s time for Sam Stack to take the helm because I have a formula for success.
I’m sure most baseball fans know that the Giants might have had the worst bullpen in the history of bulls being in pens. They had thirty blown saves, that’s so incredibly insane. At that point you must be trying to be that bad.
The Giants ended the season with 87 wins, even they went 25/30 on those save situations the Giants would have 112 wins. (That is your in depth statistic for this edition).
So here’s what I would have done to win 12 straight games. First, start Madison Bumgarner every game and not take himation. I guarantee 108 straight shutout innings because that is something that Bumgarner could do.
That’s it, one thing and you have another World Series. Sorry Giants, you screwed up and it was an easy fix.
There Physically Will Not Be A World Series Champion
The Cubs haven’t won in 108 years. The Indians haven’t won in 48 years. They simply won’t do it. It’s not possible.
The Baseball Gods won’t have it. They will figure out a way to make it so it won’t happen. I see a couple scenarios.
The first, both teams were betting on games. That way they both can’t win but also the MLB will have no way of determining someone else who should win. That would be so crazy.
The second, every single player on both teams is taking steroids. Immediate asterisk for whoever wins. If there is a champion, it won’t ever be a legitimate victory.
The last scenario? Apocalypse. Simply put, no existing world. No existing 2016 World Series Champion.
Things To Note
I Didn’t Know Defense Isn’t a Thing In College Football Anymore
Texas Tech and Oklahoma played a game this weekend with a combined total yardage of 1,708 yards with a final score of 66-59. I didn’t know football games were played like practice and teams just play 11 on 0.
I didn’t watch the game but I can only assume that’s what happened.
This joke is overplayed now, sorry. So get rid of the big names who didn’t do well for you this weekend and you’ll probably be successful in fantasy football.
And that’s The Scoop.