By Sam Stack, Editor-in-Chief
// It’s Halloween. But for some reason most department stores around the US are already selling Christmas novelties and decorations. I wonder if they are already on daylight savings time. That’s what I think that means, move your clock two months forwards, right?
Anyways, it’s the Scoop.
As always warning to those who go on reading. If you need a break, take it, be my guest. Reader discretion is advised.
I Can’t Wait Till the “Blew a 3-1 Series Lead” Joke Comes Back To Haunt The Indians
Yeah, I’m a Warriors fan. Yes, I endured that Game 7 loss in the Cleveland Cavaliers’ players family section. And yes, I absolutely hate the joke regarding how the Warriors blew a 3-1 series lead.
Well guess what Cleveland. You had a 3-1 series lead last night and the Cubs won. Now they have two incredibly dominant pitchers waiting for you in the next two games. Boy, would it be crazy if you blew it.
Oh and yeah keep saying your funny little joke, because guess what? Winter is coming and the leading the charge is a four headed monster composed of Kevin Durant, Steph Curry, Draymond Green, and Klay Thompson. Wow, that fires me up.
The only thing you have going for you is the fact that you’re playing the Cubs and losing in big time moments is their specialty.
The Browns Celebrated Halloween Early
On Halloween you’re supposed to be scared of the zombies, ghouls, and ghosts. But honestly the scariest thing for me on Halloween is watching the Browns play football.
Yesterday, the Browns were up like 20-7 at half and choked it all away in the second half to lose. I think that they were just celebrating Halloween early, with an actually talented football team dressed up as the Browns in the first half. But at halftime they just changed back into the same old Browns.
I just feel sad for the Browns at this point. Every other team in the City of Champions (Cleveland) is successful right now but the Browns just can’t even buy a win. Or buy good players for that matter.
Vernon Hargreaves Should Fake an Injury The Next Time He Faces Amari Cooper
Amari Cooper absolutely owns Hargreaves. I notarized the contract myself. At Alabama, Amari put up something like 200 yards on 10 catches and a touchdown. Then yesterday, in the rematch Amari had 12 catches for 173 yards and a touchdown.
At this point you just have to think that Vernon has nightmares of Amari Cooper. Like the scariest Halloween costume for him is an Amari Cooper costume. (Right now it’s my favorite costume because Cooper got me like 30 points in fantasy).
But honestly, being the PR expert I am, I suggest to Hargreaves that he should just fake an injury the next time he plays Cooper. At this point the only way he could stop Cooper is never play him again. Foolproof.
Curses of the Week
This is my new section where I just curse teams. Simply saying that they won’t win.
I, Sam Stack, curse the Cleveland Browns to not win again for the rest of the season. This one is in my lap, they’re just so bad.
I, Sam Stack, reverse curse the New England Patriots to not lose for the rest of season. I’m sorry but Touchdown Tom is just in revenge mode on the league.
And that’s the Scoop.