By Sam Stack, Editor-in-Chief
// I want to ask a question. In light of the New York Marathon, I got to wondering what makes marathons enjoyable. I get the whole training to reach a goal thing, but it’s running 26.2 miles. How about reading a book, or teaching yourself a song on the piano, or memorizing a really fast rap? Some food for thought.
Welcome back to the Scoop.
Reader Discretion is advised.
Vote Brady-Gronk 2016
Tuesday is election day and I’m telling you to write in Brady-Gronk 2016. Brady is one of the most qualified candidates ever and is only getting better with age. You don’t get that a lot in the White House. And please tell me who the last president was to throw for 350 plus yards on a weekly basis.
With Gronk being the VP I can assure that not only will your first amendment rights be protected but also your right to party. Plus Gronk would be amazing in diplomacy; he’s just such a lovable guy and makes everyone happy. He’s also a very large human being so I think he would indirectly intimidate foreign diplomats.
Make the correct decision America. A future with Brady and Gronk is a future we can believe in.
The Steelers Are Revolutionizing the Onside Kick Industry
Might have been the craziest onside kick I’ve ever seen. Chris Boswell decided to fake kick with his strong foot and then hit it with his off foot coming in from behind. It was almost as if he was doing a complicated two step. Given the ball went maybe 16 inches, it’s definitely got potential.
What I’m saying here is, if the Steelers special teams was a stock, buy it now and watch the money come your way.
One thing I can tell you for sure is that the Ravens had no idea it was coming. So if you master that kick it will be unstoppable.
Honestly, I bet he never messed that kick up in practice all week and then once it came to game-time he choked. Laugh now haters but watch this become the norm.
It’s Time for Players to Referee the Referees
In what might be one of the biggest turn of events in the history of sports, the Chiefs’ tight end Travis Kelce threw a flag on a referee. It just happened that that flag was a towel and the referee kicked Kelce out of the game.
But this brought up a big point. When are we going to challenge the referee’s authority? They’ve been running this game too long and it’s time to make a change. They throw out flags at the worst time and also manage to not throw them at the worst times too.
As I sit here, I speak for the people in saying that referees have ruled for too long and players should be able to throw flags on them for being bad. Kelce may have been thrown out of the game, but he is starting a revolution.
Things to Note
The Cubs won. And guess what…
Cleveland blew a 3-1 series lead.
Also, the Maryland Women’s Basketball team beat Mary Baldwin 153-27. In a basketball game. Yes, that was the score. The first quarter scoring line was 48-2. Why did this game need to be played?
I don’t think that it’s even necessary to beat a team that bad. What are the Lady Terrapins gaining from that other than the fact they should feel guilt for beating a team that bad? This is a good segway for the next section.
Curses Of The Week
The Maryland Terrapins Women’s basketball team. If you need an exhibition game where you just demolish a team to feel good about yourself you should be cursed.
Conspiracy Theory of the Week
So I saw this week that ESPN Fantasy Expert Matthew Berry also gets paid by Daily Fantasy Sports Enterprise DraftKings.
Here’s the deal, DraftKings is operating on a slogan along the lines of “Is your season long fantasy team ruined? Come join DraftKings.”
What if Matthew Berry, who is an expert in Fantasy Football, is giving bad advice to season long fantasy football players. So in turn, their teams become ruined and they become incentivized to join DraftKings and daily fantasy sports. Thus gaining revenue for DraftKings and more money for Berry.
If this is true, it could be bigger than Watergate. Just my two cents.
And that’s the Scoop.